How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship
Overthinking is a common problem in relationships. It can make it hard for you to feel connected and enjoy your partner’s company, but there are ways to stop overthinking in a relationship.
Stay with me if you have ever found yourself in endless”what if” scenarios, read on for some definitive advice on how to break the cycle.
I’m sharing with you a few intelligent yet simple tips to save your relationship from your runaway mind.
How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship – 13 Tips
You may be wondering How To Stop Overthinking And Save Our Relationship, right? I am aware that overthinking can have a negative impact on our relationships and quality of life.
In this article, I’ll give you some smart, yet straightforward advice on how to stop overthinking in order to avoid relationship problems.
This relationship advice not only focuses on mindfulness practices but also helps you develop mindfulness habits to create more awareness.
If you follow these mindfulness tips and make it a habit, it’s no surprise that it will help you in your personal development and relationship with your partner.
So without any further delay let’s dive into it for a better understanding.
Table of Contents
Tip #1: Complete the Story in Your Head
Finish the story in your head using I’ll be alright if this happens. Our minds want to finish a story, and if we don’t, I’ve discovered that they will keep bringing it up over and over again.
Sometimes the story in our heads can be one of self-hatred, where our minds tell us that we simply aren’t good enough for our partner to carry the story to completion, showing us our worst fears, possibly being that our partner might leave us or they might end up hating us, and if this happens then I’ll be okay. Of course, this isn’t the only action you may take to combat this way of thinking.
However, it can be a good start to help you see that things can be okay even if your worst fears do come true.
Tip #2: All the Stories in Your Mind Are Fiction
You need to realize and fully comprehend that the things you are telling yourself are all made-up. Our ideas are merely thoughts, and repeating that phrase will help you stay focused and prevent your mind from getting in the way of living your life.
Any way you want to put it, you need to comprehend that our minds don’t just constantly generate truths and they aren’t forecasters of the future.
This will help you stop identifying with your thoughts and actually stop giving them so much weight. The job of our brain, an organ, is to think, just as the job of our heart is to pump blood.
Pumping thoughts into our awareness also sounds logical enough; however, I know how convincing our minds can be with the stories they tell and how knowing the truth that our thoughts are just thoughts and living out of that truth are two very different things.
Tip #3: Talk to Your Partner Openly
Talk to your partner about your concerns. Be assertive in your communication so that you can work things out together as a team.
The importance of really cultivating that mindset of being a team with your partner is that this way you are constantly building up respect, openness, and trust in your relationship, which will go a long way towards building that healthy relationship that you really want now.
I do want to stress that this does not mean that you interrogate your partner when you have this overthinking in your head that could be very destructive for your relationship.
So with this in mind, it’s helpful to use some phrases such as:
“This is a fear that I’ve had in the past.”
“Can you help me work through my fears?”
“Can you help me with the idea here?”
I want to free my mind from fears.
Using these phrases and some similar ones to show your partner that this isn’t something personal to them, but your own insecurities and fears that you’re asking for help with can go a long way towards getting empathy from your partner as well as stopping them from becoming defensive.
Tip #4: See A Therapist
I know, I know a bit of a shameless plug, however, we often make it through school and then also into our careers without ever being taught how to build and maintain a healthy relationship.
This is what a counselor or therapist can do for you, and if we didn’t have positive examples of healthy relationships when we were growing up, then we may be lost.
So what therapist will not only give you a safe place to process your overthinking but also give you a road map so that you can build trust, respect and assertive communication in your relationship with your partner that will allow your relationship to be more at ease and peace.
Note: So if your mind ever runs away with you again, remember these tips so that you can steer your relationship back to safety.
Tip #5: Become Aware of Your Patterns
Having noticed that overthinking is happening, start to practice mindful awareness. When you have the ability to tap into mindfulness, you can start to observe the complete cycle of your overthinking pattern.
Ask yourself:
- What starts your overthinking pattern?
- How does it conduct itself?
- How much time does it require?
- Where do you feel it in your body?
Once you understand all the pieces of your overthinking pattern, you can better mentally move out of your overthinking cycle. Don’t try to suppress the thoughts.
Remember the Quote
“Nobody is perfect.” Nobody knows it all. Stop overthinking whatever it is…. and just go. Follow your dreams. Start your own business.
Take a chance on a new relationship, whatever it is. You deserve a chance. Try to understand each other gradually, and you, my friend, will see a huge impact in the long run.”
Tip #6: Stop Negative Thinking
Suppressing negative thoughts can lead to more overthinking. It’s like when someone tells you not to touch something, making you want to touch it even more.
If you’re dealing with overthinking and recurring negative thoughts, notice when it’s happening as you build up your other coping tools.
Allow yourself to have negative thoughts while strengthening your ability to let go of them and be in the present moment.
And whenever you feel ready to take it a step further, you can practise challenging your negative thoughts and stopping your mind from going down the rabbit hole of overthinking.
Tip #7: Write Your Thoughts On Paper
Journaling is a valuable tool to get your thoughts out into the physical world because thoughts can be processed and released once on paper.
Writing down your thoughts is a good place to start, and then you can move on to keeping a gratitude journal.
You can also use alternative methods to get your thoughts out, like doodling or crafting.
Tip #8: Schedule Worry Time
Scheduling worry time is a classic technique used in cognitive behavioral therapy, and the idea is to table your worries until your scheduled worry time. It keeps you from spending too much time worrying about things that come up randomly during the day.
Here’s how to try doing it:
- Schedule “worry time” and add a time limit, preferably no more than 35 minutes. Use a timer if helpful.
- Make sure it’s just a short distance from bedtime.
- Let all your thoughts out, and think through all your worries during this time frame.
- Stop when the scheduled worry time is over.
- Throughout the day, write down any worrying thoughts as they come up so that you have them ready to review during the worry time.
- At the next scheduled worry time, review your previous notes to process and problem-solve the worries you had during your day.
Tip #9: Shift Your Environment
Sometimes being in a specific space can trigger you to overthink. So moving to a new area or changing up the environment that you’re in can help.
For instance, go for a walk, try a new activity, or get out of the house to refocus your thoughts and feelings. It may be helpful to do something different each time you overthink a relationship so that the activity encourages you to take notice of your surroundings and focus on the present moment.
Playing white noise or relaxing music can also help shift your mind, silence unwanted thoughts, and remind your brain to take a break.
Tip #10: Prioritize the Things You Enjoy
Take time for yourself and prioritize self-care to avoid overthinking your relationship. Make a plan to fit in activities that make you happy, such as hobbies like walking with your dog, calling a friend, or physical activity, to avoid overthinking in your relationship.
Don’t replay conversations in your head, as this can lead to overanalyzing the relationship. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and look for ways to make it better.
Also try creating a list of healthy coping mechanisms to distract yourself when negative thoughts arise, such as spending time with friends or doing something you enjoy.
Tip #11: Talk it Out
If you’re overthinking relationship issues—such as situations involving friends, family, or romantic partners—try to talk them out with the other person directly instead of ruminating about it alone.
Worrying in relationships is normal, especially if trust is fragile. Since you are engaging with someone with their own complex patterns of behavior, it’s easy to misinterpret signals, words, and actions.
The best way to understand another person is to open a clear communication line. After all, if you’re worried about the state of your relationship, remember that studies show repeatedly that communication is a foundational element in relationship satisfaction.
If you’re not ready to talk directly with the person you’re overthinking, tap a mental health professional like a therapist.
Tip #12: Adverse Effects Of Overthinking
Consider the trade-off that you’re choosing when you overthink versus moving on. Even though it’s essential to think before you act, thinking too much can often lead to bad things.
Overthinking can cause you to take advantage of opportunities since time is a nonrenewable resource, the time you are spending thinking may be better spent pursuing real opportunities that will help you move forward.
It makes you feel out of control. When you’re stuck in your own thoughts, you can quickly feel like you’re spiralling without anything to ground you. Left unchecked, this can lead to unwanted mental health complications.
Spark friction in relationships. To move forward with your loved ones, you need action to engage. Sitting in thought alone often comes at the cost of honest communication and can lead to isolation.
Tip #13: Live in the Present
Too often in relationships, we overthink things. We worry about the past, the future, and what other people are thinking. Instead, you should live in the present and focus on what’s important.
Try practicing meditation or mindfulness to help you focus on the present and appreciate the small moments in your life. Spend time with friends and family to uplift your sense of community and connection.
Take walks outdoors to tune in to your surroundings and become more aware of them. Also, listen to music or read a good book to take yourself away from the world around you and immerse yourself in a positive experience.
“Be open to new experiences and ideas, as this can lead to new perspectives that can help you grow as a person.”
How to Stop Overthinking in a Relationship Video
Conclusion
Relationships are a two-way street. It is important for both partners to give and take. Overthinking relationships takes away the joy and spontaneity that can be found in them.
When you begin to overthink, it becomes difficult to trust your intuition or feelings. This often leads to negative thoughts that can damage the relationship.
Comment below if this brought clarity to the issue of overthinking insecurities!
