15 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You 

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Breaking up with someone you love is never easy. It can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and unsure of what comes next.

Even if the relationship ended on solid terms, there’s still a chance your ex may not be as over it as they may seem.

You should be aware of the signs that indicate they might still have feelings for you. In this article, we’ll discuss 15 clear signs your ex is pretending to be over you.

So keep reading!

Here Are 18 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending to Be Over You

If you’ve noticed a strange shift in behavior from your former flame, it may be that they’re not as ‘over it’ as they let on. In fact, 50% of people surveyed have admitted to pretending to be over an ex.

There are signs that this might be true: One sign is if they stop talking about you or the relationship.

Another sign is if they post pictures of themselves looking happy and carefree. Lastly, if they become overly critical when talking about your current relationships.

They show other signs too. For example, they may send mixed messages. They might say that both of you are better off now, but then mention the possibility of things still working out between the two of you.

If you recognize these actions, your ex may be pretending to be over the relationship while still having feelings for you.

That’s not all. Here are 15 Signs you should look for for a better understanding.

1). They Mention You to Mutual Friends

If your ex keeps mentioning you to mutual friends, it means they’re not over you yet. It could be a sign that they want to reconnect with you.

They might be hoping their friends tell you and give them a chance to reconnect with you.

Pay attention to the type of things they say when mentioning you, too – if it’s positive or negative. This can show how they truly feel about the situation and if they’re pretending to be over you.

Your ex might still be thinking about you if they ask your mutual friends about your life. If this keeps happening, it could mean there’s still an unresolved issue between them and you.

They might also want to stay informed in case they ever want to get back together with you.

2). They Like Your Social Media Posts

Your ex still has strong feelings for you. They show it by liking all your posts and leaving lots of comments and likes on your photos and updates.

They may be trying to get your attention by double-tapping everything they see. If that wasn’t enough, they may have even started direct messaging you again.

It’s clear that all of their efforts are just a way to stay connected to you.

They want to remain a part of your life, but without having to‌ come back into it.

Liking all your posts shows them what’s going on in your life without having to ask directly.

It’s important for them to pay attention and show support by giving likes and comments. Indirect communication is why this matters.

Your ex is clearly not over you yet if this type of behavior continues!

3). They Re-Engage in Conversation With You

Your ex may start talking to you again – a clear sign that they still have feelings for you!

Your ex still talking to you, whether it’s just casual or more serious, shows they’re not over you yet.

Here are some signs to keep an eye out for:

  • Unsolicited messages from them checking up on you.
  • They tag you in funny posts or comment on your photos.
  • They ask how your day’s been going.

4). They Try to Re-establish Contact

They’re trying to rekindle the flame, so don’t be surprised if they reach out. Maybe it’s a text message or an email. Or maybe they’ll give you a call.

They may even come in person, all trying to get your attention and reconnect with you.

Don’t be fooled! They might act interested again, but it’s likely just another way of pretending everything is fine when it’s not.

Stay away from each other and stick to your decision to not make up – it’s the best choice for both of you in the long term.

5). They Try to Make You Jealous

If you look at the situation, you can see if they are really trying to make you jealous. If your ex mentions a new love interest or posts pictures with someone else, it might be a way to make you feel jealous.

They may even try to get close to people you know to get your attention. This behavior is very telling and can indicate that they’re not really over you yet.

If your ex is really interested in what you do and who you hang out with, it might mean they’re trying to make you jealous.

If they ask too many personal questions or make comments about how much fun others are having, they might be trying to make you feel jealous.

Pay attention to these signs so that you can assess the situation accurately.

6). They Refuse to Speak Badly About You

Your ex still liking you is a sign that they don’t talk bad about you even after the relationship ends.

If someone who used to be close to you doesn’t speak negatively about you or the time you spent together, it shows they still care about you.

They may be holding on to hope for another chance in the future for the relationship.

Your ex might not even realize that they are not saying negative things about you. It could be something they do without thinking, showing their emotions unintentionally.

If your ex acts like they’re over you but can’t criticize or insult you, it might mean there are still feelings between you two.

There’s a chance that everything isn’t lost. Maybe there’s a possibility of making up in the future.

7). They Become Evasive When Asked About You

Your ex may refuse to speak badly about you. They might become evasive when asked about you. If this happens, it’s a clear sign they’re pretending to be over you.

They might avoid asking about your relationship or what happened between you two.

They could also try to change the subject whenever someone brings up your name. This type of behavior shows that they still care and are trying hard not to show it.

They’re not directly discussing your feelings or your past with you. Instead, they’re choosing to avoid it.

They might not want others to know how much it bothers them that things didn’t work out between the two of you. They would rather pretend everything is okay on the surface, even if deep down inside it isn’t.

8). They Try to Keep You in Their Lives

They might want to keep you in their lives because they are hopeful, even if it’s just a small chance.

They might still text you or call you, even though they’re telling everyone else that they’re over it.

If they keep in touch with you, it might mean they still have feelings for you. Maybe they’ll invite you out for coffee or suggest meeting up for lunch.

It could be that your ex just wants to remain friends, but it could also be more than that.

Pay attention to small signs such as flirting or remembering the past. These signs mean that your ex is not completely over the relationship, even if they claim to be.

9). They Ask Your Friends for Updates About You

Your ex might ask your friends about you like they still want to stay connected somehow. They might ask them questions like what you’ve been up to or how you’re doing.

If they act interested in all the details, this could be a sign that they’re not completely over you yet. Your ex may also try to find out if you’ve moved on or started seeing someone else.

They might be interested in learning about your life and checking if it’s safe for them to return. It’s possible that they still have feelings for you and miss having a connection with you.

10). They Become Overly Defensive When You Mention Other People

If you mention other people, your ex might get really defensive. This shows they’re not ready to move on yet.

As the old saying goes, ‘Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.’

This behavior can take many forms: 

  • Interrupting you mid-sentence.
  • Refusing to comment on anything related to other people.
  • Becoming hostile in conversation.
  • Changing the subject without warning.
  • Making excuses for why they don’t want to talk about it.

Your ex is likely trying to hide their true feelings by putting up a wall of defense. They might still like you and act like everything is okay, but it might not be true.

Paying attention to these cues is important if you want to know whether your ex is truly over you.

11). They Try to Reframe the Breakup

The breakup feels like a big storm cloud, but they try to see it as just a quick shower passing by.

They may say that breaking up was for the best or claim that things weren’t working out anyway.

Your ex trying to present the situation differently, shows they are pretending to be over you.

They also may try to make you feel guilty for the breakup, even though they started it. They use this method to control how you see them and make you think they’re not impacted by the separation.

Your ex might act like they’re okay, but they’re still hurting from the breakup deep inside. They might use tactics to convince you otherwise, but the pain is still there.

12). They Find Excuses to Come Around

While they try to act like it doesn’t bother them, they always make excuses to come and check on you. They can hang out with friends, meet at the store, or message you sometimes.

They may act like they’ve moved on, but their true intention is to let you know they haven’t forgotten about you.

Your ex’s actions and small gestures show that they still have feelings for you. They might remind you of the good times you had together or mention how happy they are now that they’re single.

Remember, these actions may mislead you. Don’t take them seriously as signs of genuine interest.

13). They Casually Ask How You’re Doing

How often they ask about how you’re doing, which suggests they want to keep in touch, might surprise you. They might make simple comments or ask innocent questions that carry deeper meanings.

If you’re not sure if their concern is genuine or a cover for something else, watch how they speak and use their bodies.

  • Are they really interested in your answer?
  • Do they lean in when they ask?

It might mean your ex is pretending to be over you but still keeping an eye on you.

Another clue can be found in the types of questions being asked. If they ask about what’s happening now, hobbies, or things they do, it could mean they are still interested, even if just as a friend.

It could also mean that they want to be a part of your life without fully committing. This could indicate that they are not completely over you yet.

14). They Try to Initiate Contact on Special Occasions

If your ex is asking how you’re doing, they may be trying to gauge your feelings. It’s a sign that they may still have feelings for you.

If your ex tries to contact you on special occasions, it’s a sign that they’re not over you.

If they reach out to you on anniversaries or birthdays, it might mean they still think about you and aren’t fully moved on from the relationship yet.

Even if you start a friendly conversation, it can quickly become a reminder of the past between the two of you.

When those special days come, they might also try to make plans with you. It could be an attempt to bring back the spark or see if there’s a chance to work things out.

15). They Seem to Be Everywhere You Are

It’s almost as if your ex is stalking you, always popping up in places you’d least expect. Everywhere you go,‌ they’re there, too.

At the grocery store? They’re standing right behind you in line. Out for a night on the town with friends? You bump into them at the bar. It’s starting to make you feel uncomfortable, and even a little scared.

Your ex may be pretending to be over you, but this behavior makes it clear that they still have feelings for you.

If they’re not interested in keeping track of your life, why would they make the effort to show up wherever you are?

They want to know about your life and who you’re spending time with, which means they haven’t moved on yet.

What to Do If You Notice Your Ex Is Pretending to Be Over You?

If you’ve noticed that your ex seems to be everywhere you are, it could be a sign that they aren’t truly over you.

It can feel really uncomfortable if your ex is pretending to be over you and trying to keep tabs on what you’re up to.

What should you do? First, remember that ignoring or avoiding them won’t solve the problem. The easiest approach is, to be honest with them and openly discuss how their actions affect you.

If you respectfully express how their actions affect you, it will bring clarity to your relationship. Consider setting boundaries that work for both parties to avoid confusion in the future.


It’s time to summarize all the signs your ex is pretending to be over you:

To start with, watch out for any sudden changes in behavior or attitude. They may not be completely over you if they start acting more distant, avoid you, or become overly friendly with others.

If your ex continues to talk about their plans with you even after the breakup, they might still have feelings for you and are just pretending otherwise.


You’ve noticed that all the signs are there: your ex is pretending to be over you. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but don’t let it break your spirit.

You can still make it through this tough time and come out stronger than ever before. Take some time for yourself and focus on what makes you happiest.

Surround yourself with caring people who support you. They can help boost your confidence and inspire you to move forward with a positive attitude.

Your future’s bright and full of possibilities – don’t forget that!

Frequently Asked Questions

How Can I Tell If My Ex Is Still Interested in Me?

Are you wondering if your ex is still interested in you? It can be hard to tell if someone has moved on or not.

Pay attention to their body language, how they talk about the breakup, and what they say when they see you.

If your ex still looks at you, longingly, talks about happy memories of your relationship, or seems happy when you meet, it may mean they still have feelings for you.

How Can I Tell If My Ex Is Trying to Make Me Jealous?

If your ex is trying to make you jealous, they may be sending mixed signals.

They might act friendly one moment, then distant the next.

They might also flirt with other people near you or talk about their new dating life when you’re around.

They may not talk about their feelings for you or bring up topics that could cause fights. This might mean they want to make you feel jealous.

What Are the Best Ways to Handle An Ex Who Is Pretending to Be Over Me?

Dealing with an ex who’s pretending to be over you can be difficult. If your ex is acting strange or posting pictures that suggest they still have feelings, take a moment to evaluate what’s going on.

Remember, people often act based on their own pain and fear. Approach your former partner with compassion and understanding.

When discussing their behavior, openly share how it makes you feel. Together, create a plan for moving forward in a healthy manner.

Is It Possible to Get Back Together With an Ex Who Is Pretending to Be Over Me?

It may be possible to reunite with an ex who’s pretending to have moved on, depending on the situation.

There might be problems that need to be resolved or emotions that should be talked about before getting back together.

It’s crucial to honestly talk and figure out why your ex is acting like they don’t care about you anymore. This will help both of you determine if a reconciliation is possible.

What Are the Signs that an Ex Is Not Over Me Yet?

You may think your ex still likes you, but they’re pretending to be over it.

There are certain signs that can indicate this is the case; look out for them.

If your ex still contacts you often or talks about shared memories, it might mean they’re not completely over it.

If they try to make subtle hints about getting back together, this could also be a sign.

Pay attention to how they act and speak. If you notice any emotion or lingering affection in their body language or tone of voice, it’s likely they haven’t moved on yet.

Hey there, I'm Khursheed Alam! I started the Deeplines blog to help people benefit from my content. I really believe in loving yourself and being kind, so my goal is to spread that message everywhere. In my free time, I read novels, self-development, and writing books.

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