11 Things to Do When Your Ex Texts You During No Contact

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It can be really tough when your ex reaches out to you during no contact.

It’s normal to feel tempted to respond, but it’s important that you stay strong and adhere to the no-contact rule.

In this article, we will discuss why your ex might be contacting you and provide 11 tips on what to do when they text you during no contact.

You’ll also learn how long you should wait before responding if they text after a long time and whether or not you should reply at all.

With these tips in mind, let’s get started!

Key Takeaways

  • Stay strong and adhere to the no-contact rule, as it is a powerful tool for self-improvement and healing after a breakup.
  • Handle ex-texting during no contact by acknowledging the message but not responding right away, avoiding engaging in any conversations about the relationship, and showing that you are busy and uninterested.
  • Focus on self-improvement during no contact by maintaining a positive attitude, finding new hobbies or interests, and celebrating small victories in life.
  • When responding to an ex after no contact, wait a few days, reflect on the situation, assess if the conversation will be beneficial, and take time to make sure any conversation is meaningful and productive.

Why Your Ex Might Be Contacting You?

Your ex might be contacting you because they’re struggling to move on and still have feelings for you. 

It’s possible that they are lonely or feel like talking to you will bring back the same comfort of when you were together. 

Maybe your ex is seeking closure, trying to get an explanation, or looking for a way to keep in touch.

Whatever the reason, it can be hard when an ex reaches out after a breakup and can bring up strong emotions. 

If your ex is texting while you are trying to practice no contact, it could mean they still have feelings for you. 

If this is the case, it’s important to remember that if your relationship ended, there was likely a valid reason for it.

Respect yourself by not allowing yourself to be pulled into conversations or situations which may lead nowhere good.

What to Do When Your Ex Texts You During No Contact? 11 Things to Do

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It can be difficult to remain steadfast when your ex reaches out during a period of ‘no contact’. 

It’s important to remember your reasons for choosing this path and to respect your own boundaries. 

Here are some tips for handling your ex texting you:

  • Acknowledge their message, but don’t respond right away. Take some time (a day or two) to think about what you want to say before responding.
  • Respond in a polite yet firm manner, explaining that you’re respecting the no-contact rule and won’t be engaging in conversation.
  • Don’t engage in any conversations with your ex, regardless of how tempting it might be! Stick with your decision and don’t let them talk you into breaking the rules.

Remember to stay strong and honor your wish for no contact. This will help create healthy boundaries so that both parties can eventually move on from each other if desired.

1). Give Off the Impression that You’re Happy and Avoid Appearing Clingy or Desperate

Maintaining a positive attitude and having a healthy outlook on life is the best way to demonstrate that you’re not clinging to your ex or desperate for their attention.

Show them that you’ve moved on and are living life happily without them by continuing with your usual activities and not changing plans just because they texted you. 

Avoid responding too quickly as it can give off the impression of desperation.

Focus on yourself, take up new hobbies, hang out with friends, and talk about things happening in your life. 

All of these activities will help to show your ex that you’re happy without them.

Don’t let texting with your ex turn into an argument or discussion about why you two broke up. 

Keep communication brief and don’t overanalyze what they wrote. Being overly emotional won’t do either of you any good.

If it’s necessary for some reason, be polite but firm when communicating with them so they know that while you may still care about them there’s no chance of getting back together again.

2). Be the One to End the Conversation and Tell them Why.

Ending the conversation with your ex can be difficult, but it’s important to be firm when you do so. Don’t let guilt or a need for closure lead you to talk more than necessary.

Instead, make sure that you’re the one who ends the conversation and clearly explain why. Let them know that you still care about them, but it’s best if contact is limited while you both take time to heal.

It may feel awkward at first, but this kind of clear communication will help keep things from getting too messy and complicated down the road. Be direct and avoid beating around the bush.

A simple message like “I’m sorry, I don’t think we should talk anymore”can go a long way in helping both of you move on from each other. 

Just remember: You don’t owe your ex anything; all that matters is what’s best for YOU right now.

3). End the Conversation Abruptly But Politely

Politely and abruptly cutting off communication with your ex is essential. ‘It’s best to end the conversation in a succinct manner. Acknowledge that you’ve heard them, but don’t engage in back-and-forth dialogue.

Here are 4 tips for ending the conversation:

  • Keep it short and sweet – there’s no need to explain yourself or even say goodbye.
  • Don’t respond to any further attempts at contact – this only encourages more texting.
  • Be polite but firm – acknowledge what they said before saying goodbye.
  • Let them know why you’re ending the conversation – let them know that it’s part of your no-contact period if necessary.

This way, they won’t be confused or think that you still care about them too much when you’re trying to move on with your life. 

It can be difficult to ignore texts from an ex while going through a breakup, but remaining firm and cutting off all communication is often the best option for both parties involved in the long run.

4). Always Leave It to Your Ex to Contact You Again

Leaving it to your ex to reach out again may be hard, but it’ll eventually help you move on with your life.

It’s important to remember that no contact is a powerful tool for self-improvement and healing after a breakup.

During this time, it can be difficult not to respond when your ex reaches out, especially if they’re offering an apology or an explanation for why the relationship ended. 

However, by resisting the temptation to reply, you will demonstrate strength and boundaries to essential components of healthy relationships.

Allowing your ex to take initiative will give them a chance to reflect and consider their own actions during the breakup. 

This will help both of you understand how things went wrong in the past so that these mistakes don’t repeat themselves in future relationships.

Ultimately, following through with no contact is an exercise in respect – for yourself as well as for your ex.

5). You Want Your Ex to Be Choosing You After a Breakup, Not the Other Way Around

It can be tough letting go of the idea that your ex should come back to you after a breakup, but it’s important to respect yourself and give them space.

After all, you want them to be choosing you, not the other way around.

Here are three good reasons why no contact is the best policy when your ex texts:

  • You don’t want them to think they’ve got power over you – it’s important for your self-esteem.
  • You want them to miss you and value what they had with you – that won’t happen if they’re always in touch with you.
  • You need time apart from each other for things to change – so take this opportunity to do something positive instead!

Don’t let yourself get sucked into any drama or negative thoughts about them texting during no contact; focus on better things instead!

6). Act Indifferent to the Situation If Your Ex Calls and Wants to Talk about the Relationship.

If your ex is trying to get in touch with you, it’s important to remain indifferent. You don’t want to be the one making all of the efforts and deciding when or how often you talk.

If your ex calls or texts while you’re in no contact, the best thing to do is act as if nothing has changed and be polite but distant. 

Don’t give them any indication that you still have feelings for them or want to get back together.

Instead, focus on being calm and collected so they can see that you’re capable of carrying on without them in your life. 

This will show them that not only can you live without them, but also that it’s probably for the best.

7). Stick to Positive, Fun topics and Avoid Getting Dragged Into the Drama

Whenever your ex attempts to engage you in a conversation, be sure to stick to positive and uplifting topics. 

Doing so will help prevent getting dragged into the drama. Keep the conversation light and fun, such as talking about a favorite hobby or activity. 

Avoid discussing any of the difficulties that led to the end of your relationship.

If they start bringing up negative topics, gently guide them back to lighter ones. 

It’s important not to get caught up in any arguments or heated debates during this time of no contact. 

Staying positive and upbeat is key to keeping a respectful relationship with your ex while also honoring your own personal boundaries.

8). The Goal is to Act Like You’re Unavailable So It Shifts Power From them to you

By acting as if you’re unavailable, you can subtly shift the balance of power back to your side. When your ex texts you during no contact, make sure that:

  • You don’t give in to drama.
  • Respond to them politely and professionally.
  • Don’t get dragged into conversations about why the relationship ended.

You appear uninterested and busy. Keep any responses short and sweet. Let them know you have other things going on in your life.

This will show them that they can’t control the situation anymore, which takes away their power and puts it back into their hands.

9). Showing Your Ex You’re Fine Without them Will Do Wonders to Get them Back

Showing your former flame that you’re thriving without them can make a grand impression and put the power back in your corner.

Letting them know that things are going great for you, even without their presence or influence, will show how strong and independent you’ve become since the breakup.

Make sure to keep things light and positive; don’t bash or criticize your ex – it’s about showing maturity and growth on your part.

You should also avoid engaging in too much conversation with them – keep it short and sweet, but always ensure that you leave the conversation on a good note.

This will help to remind them of how much they miss having you around and give them some insight into what life would be like if they were to re-engage with you again.

Showing your ex that life is better without them could be just the thing to get them back!

10). Make Yourself the Focal Point and Don’t Get Distracted

Now that you’ve shown your ex that you’re doing just fine without them, it’s time to make yourself the focal point. 

Don’t get distracted by conversations with him/her, no matter how tempting it may be.

Instead, focus on yourself and what you’re currently doing for self-improvement. 

This could include anything from reading a new book or learning a language to enrolling in classes for personal growth.

It’s important not to let your ex pull you away from the progress you’ve made so far. 

Don’t allow yourself to become sidetracked, and instead, stay focused on making sure that all of your goals remain a top priority.

11). Get Creative and Busy to Let Your Feelings Out

Taking time to tap into your talents and try something new is a great way to engage in activities that can help you express your emotions.

  • Finding creative outlets such as painting, writing, photography, or any other form of art can be a great way to let out any emotions you’ve been holding onto.
  • Taking up a sport or joining a local club can also provide an outlet for you to release stress and channel your energy into something positive.
  • Spending time with friends or family can also give you an opportunity to talk about how you’ve been feeling and gain some perspective on your current situation.

This will help you process the emotions that come from dealing with an ex’s text message during no contact.

What to Do When Your Ex Reaches Out to You During No-contact?

When your ex reaches out during no contact, it can be overwhelming and tough to handle. 

It’s important to remember that you’re in control of the situation. You have the power to decide how you want to respond.

Don’t feel pressured to answer right away. Take some time to think about what’s best for you and your emotional well-being. 

If you choose to respond, make sure that whatever message you send back is assertive and positive.

Set boundaries with clear expectations so that your ex knows what their role should be in this situation. 

Make sure not to get into any arguments or debates since this won’t solve anything. 

Be honest but respectful and try not to let emotions run high when communicating with them.

1). Don’t Beat Yourself Up

It can be tough not to take it personally when your ex reaches out during no contact, but don’t beat yourself up – you’re doing the best that you can.

Here are a few tips to help:

  • Remember that the goal of no contact is to give yourself some space and time to heal from the breakup, so don’t let your ex’s messages interfere with that.
  • If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable, it’s OK to take a break from social media or any other place where your ex might reach out.
  • Focus on yourself and what makes you happy without worrying about how your ex might feel or react.

2). Let Go of Negative Emotions

Releasing the grip of negative emotions can be like unclenching a fist that’s been tightly squeezed for too long. 

It may be difficult to do at first, but it’s essential to your recovery from being contacted by your ex.

Acknowledge that you still have feelings towards them and accept what comes with it – both positive and negative. 

Don’t try to suppress or ignore your emotions, instead give yourself permission to express how you feel.

Create some space between yourself and the situation – take a step back and observe objectively without judgement. 

Reframe any negative thoughts into positive ones; try replacing ‘I’m so angry they contacted me’ with ‘I’m doing my best to stay strong’.

You’re in control of how you react, so choose wisely.

3). Build a New Life

Creating a new life after being contacted by your ex can be empowering and freeing. 

Here are 4 things you can do to get started:

  • Make time for yourself. Set aside a few hours each day to focus on activities that make you happy and bring joy into your life.
  • Set boundaries with your ex. Establish rules about how often they can contact you and what topics are off-limits, then stick to them.
  • Find new hobbies or interests. Explore something new that sparks curiosity and excitement in you, like painting or writing poetry.
  • Reconnect with old friends. Reach out to people who have been there for you in the past – it’ll help remind you of all the positive relationships in your life!

By taking the initiative to build something different for yourself, such as setting boundaries with your ex or finding a new hobby, you’re taking back control over how this situation affects you emotionally and mentally. 

This will give you the space to heal from the breakup and begin anew.

4). Celebrate Your Progress

Once you’ve taken the steps to build a new life, it’s time to celebrate your progress – and what better way than by taking an out-of-this-world vacation?

It doesn’t have to be far or expensive; even a staycation in your own city can provide some much-needed relaxation and reflection. 

Take this time to appreciate all the hard work you’ve done for yourself since deciding to go no contact with your ex.

Celebrate all the progress you’ve made in creating a more fulfilling life without your ex!

What to Say When Your Ex Texts You During No Contact?

When those messages come, reply with a polite but firm “I’m sorry, I’m focusing on myself right now.”

It can be difficult to stick to this when your ex reaches out to you. But it’s important to remain consistent and stay true to not only yourself but the no-contact rule.

Here are some things that you should keep in mind when dealing with texts from your ex during no contact:

  • Keep it short and sweet.
  • Don’t get into a drawn-out conversation.
  • Stick to simple conversations or topics about practical matters like returning items or scheduling appointments.

Remain firm in your resolve. Don’t let their words or actions make you feel guilty for sticking with the no-contact rule. 

Remember why you set the boundary in the first place and don’t waiver from that decision.

Tips for Making a Positive Impact

Making a positive impact on our lives and the world around us can be a challenging task, but it’s one that’s well worth the effort.

When your ex texts you during no contact, try to respond in an open-minded and understanding way. 

Avoid getting drawn into arguments or defending yourself. Instead, focus on being compassionate and kind in your responses.

Show genuine interest and acknowledge their feelings without getting too caught up in them or offering advice.

Take some time to think about how your words could affect the situation positively and take responsibility for your actions. 

You don’t have to agree with their point of view but try not to shut down any conversations before they even start by being defensive or dismissive.

Your goal should be to make a positive impact on the conversation that will help both parties move forward towards resolution and peace.

How Long Should You Wait to Respond When Your Ex Texts You After a Long Time?

Deciding when to respond to a stranger’s conversation after a period of disconnection can be difficult.

But It’s vital that you take the time to think before responding, as this will help ensure that your response is appropriate and beneficial.

If it has been a long time since your ex contacted you, then it may be best to wait a few days more before responding.

This will give you enough time to reflect on the situation and consider how you would like to respond.

You should also assess whether or not the conversation is likely to be beneficial for both parties involved and if so, what kind of topics you would like to talk about.

Taking this extra time can help make sure that any conversation with your ex is meaningful and productive rather than just leading nowhere.

Remember, it’s important not to rush into anything but instead take your time and carefully weigh all options before making a decision.

Should I Reply to My Ex During No Contact?

Weighing whether to reply to an ex during a period of no contact can be tricky. 

It’s important to consider the purpose of the no-contact rule and how responding could affect your progress.

If you’re using the no-contact rule as a way to heal from a painful breakup, responding may not only disrupt that process but also open up old wounds.

On the other hand, if you feel like there’s something left unsaid between you two and that responding might bring closure, then it may be worth considering.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide what’s best for your emotional well-being in this situation.


You’ve made it through no contact and your ex has finally reached out. Now, you need to decide what to do next.

It can be tempting to respond right away but try to take a step back and assess the situation before doing anything. 

Responding in haste may cause more harm than good. Instead, think about how you feel and what would be the best way for you to move forward. 

You owe it to yourself to take some time and make sure that whatever action you choose is one that will benefit you in the long run.

Frequently Asked Questions

What Should I Do If My Ex is Consistently Contacting Me During No Contact?

If your ex is consistently contacting you during no contact, it’s important to be firm. 

For example, if they text you asking for a conversation, reply politely but firmly that this isn’t the right time. 

Don’t let them pressure you into breaking your no-contact period. Stay strong and remember why you decided to do this in the first place.

How Do I Know If My Ex is Trying to Get Me Back?

Pay attention to the type of messages your ex is sending you. If they are trying to start conversations or hint at getting back together, it’s likely they’re looking for a reconciliation.

Should I try to Talk About the Relationship With My Ex If they Reach Out?

Decide if talking about the relationship is right for you. Consider your feelings, and assess whether it will bring closure or cause more pain. 

Make sure it’s a conversation you’re ready to have. Be honest, open-minded and positive.

What Should I Do If I’m Feeling Tempted to Reply to My Ex During No Contact?

Don’t feel tempted to reply to your ex during no contact. Take time away from the relationship and focus on yourself. 

Reflect on why it ended, and make sure you’re ready before engaging in conversation again.

How Do I Handle My Feelings and Emotions During No Contact?

It can be hard to handle your emotions during no contact. Studies show that 70% of people find it difficult to resist replying to their ex. 

Try focusing on yourself and taking time to do activities you enjoy.

Distracting yourself from the temptation will help you stay strong and remember why you are taking this break.

Hey there, I'm Khursheed Alam! I started the Deeplines blog to help people benefit from my content. I really believe in loving yourself and being kind, so my goal is to spread that message everywhere. In my free time, I read novels, self-development, and writing books.

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